I haven't had a day like this in a while. From the moment I woke up I could feel it in my heart. I miss him.
It makes me so mad to miss him. He doesn't deserve to be missed after all the crap he pulled.
But it can't be helped. I love him. Will I ever not? I miss my best friend. I miss having someone to talk to about everything and anything and not feeling stupid for it.
I miss his smile a lot. I miss having him look at me and knowing there wasn't a judgement. He just looked at me and loved me.
I'm so scared ill never find that again. I don't even know how to start. I know I'm not ready - even thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
Maybe I am just meant to be alone.
...
My heart just hurts. It makes it hard to breathe.
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